Who needs a break? If you are a Mom, you probably raised both hands at once.

That’s why I created a new holiday, for all of us over-worked, under-appreciated Moms. The 4th annual “National Mom’s Night Out!” is Thursday, March 18th and it’s a guilt-free excuse for Moms to go have fun with friends. Skeptics (read: “husbands”) might argue and say, “You already have a holiday for being a Mom… It’s called Mother’s Day.” I would answer them by respectfully pointing out that although we do celebrate being Moms on Mother’s Day, we do so as a family. We go out to brunch with our kids or see a movie (probably a cartoon) with our children. This is all well and good, but nowhere on that day do we get a chance to recharge and reconnect with who we are besides being a Mom. National Mom’s Night Out is an opportunity to have us reclaim a bit of our pre-motherhood identity. It affords us the chance to take off our sweat pants and strap on some sexy heels and go have a good time. (Perhaps trade in our baby bottles for a wine bottle for at least one night?)

Although the third Thursday in March is the official “National Mom’s Night Out” I am hoping that Moms across the country carve out time for themselves on a more frequent basis. We need to land somewhere near the top of our own “To-Do” lists to ensure we are recharging our spirit. Making time for yourself may seem selfish, but taking care of number one makes it possible for you to take care of the rest of your family more effectively.

So, set the laundry aside and leave money out for your kids to order pizza and call your friends for National Mom’s Night Out: Thursday, March 18th!

*For more details or to submit pictures from your own Mom’s Night Out celebration, visit The Mother of Reinvention or become a fan of “Time For Some R & R” on facebook

Check out Mommy Magic’s author Mary Susan Buhner on “Time for Some R & R” with host Rachel Wright Tuesday March 2nd at 11am Central!

“Time for Some R & R” is the radio talk show featuring host Rachel Wright who will introduce you to friends who have, “been there and done that” and chose to reinvent their lives. They will share stories of how they have successfully coped with mind bending situations, and instead of being a victim of circumstances, they have decided to sit in the driver’s seat and take control of the course their life will take… and most importantly, they are enjoying the ride. Strap yourself in and be prepared to be entertained and inspired!

*Listen to the live stream or view podcasts on the Internet at www.toginet.com

All moms need friends for enrichment, encouragement & accountability. The support network of friends you surround yourself with will be the people you share, laugh and learn from. They will push you to be better & to reach your potential as a mother, friend and person. A lot of what helps us grow is who we hand around and spend time with….be deliberate about who you hang out with in motherhood- it can shape who you are and you are becoming in the journey of motherhood.

Who You Spend Time Says A lot about You!

If you were to think about the 5 people you spend the most time with on a regular basis – that would tell you a lot about yourself. We ARE the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with. If you want to be upbeat and positive – then make sure the people you surround yourself with are as well. A great way to weed out moms you “bring you down” is to weed out the “Drama Mamas.”

No “Drama Mamas”

Gossip accomplishes nothing. Don’t hand around moms who gossip. Chances are if they are talking about someone behind their back they have or will gossip abut YOU!

A big congratulations to all moms to surviving and pulling off the magic of the holidays. Little did I know that starting in November that preparing for the holiday season would be a part time job on top of my already full time job as a mom. Can we just talk about the holiday card for one minute? I had no idea 10 years ago when I opened cards from people with kids the exhausting process the mom went throiugh to get that sweet sentiment of holiday cheer in my hands. Getting the kids to all look in the same direction for the picture alone took what seem like an entire afternoon. After that, the ongoing process of trying to address 10 cards each night in my “free time” seemed to take most of the holiday season itself. I know you all can relate as moms. So with that, it is time to take a DEEP breathe and celebrate the magic we did create for our families. Although a bit behind as promised due to being the primary magic maker in December, I would like to announce the TARGET gift card winner……

Happy New Year to all moms and CHEERS to you for making the holiday magic!

“Who am I? Who am I?” I just kept saying that line from The Breakfast Club and picturing Anthony Michael Hall trying to stick a pen up his nose.

Then I started saying, “Who are you? Who are you?”

Seriously, had my epidural spiraled out of control and reached all the way up to my brain? My sweet baby girl was hours old and her name…I could NOT call her by her name. My husband gleefully paced the hospital room calling everyone and telling them that “Smith” had been born. Every time he said her name I literally cringed. Smith was my maiden name and a shout out to my late father who I wanted to pay tribute to. The name was different and I loved it for a boy, however we had a beautiful baby girl and she did not look like a Smith to me at all. This is our third girl. I prefer to keep the sex of the baby a secret until birth to give me that extra something special to push through the delivery. Throughout this pregnancy, I was convinced we were having a boy – a girl was a total surprise. I had no idea what to do.

This uncertainly I struggled with felt like a huge secret and I couldn’t tell anyone, fearing that my friends and family would think I was crazy. Was I just experiencing roller coaster hormones? I couldn’t think of anyone, but the actress Meg Ryan, who had changed her baby’s name. Her daughter was named Charlotte and then months later she changed her name to Daisy. Meg Ryan was slammed in the press and was the buzz of conversation with every play group for a month. Seriously, who changes their baby’s name? Didn’t they have like 9 months to figure it out? I obviously wasn’t scared that People magazine was going to have harsh words for me, but I was worried that I might be making a giant mistake one way or another and I was a little nervous about what the fall out would be.

At a time like this, I thought it would be best to reach out to close friends and have them set me straight. These are the friends that will tell me when my new haircut is horrible or that my butt did in fact not look good in my new jeans. I knew they would tell me the truth. As I dialed away and posed my dilemma, I was shocked at how many of my friends had “issues” with their baby’s names when they were born. It is much more common than I would have ever imagined! In a recent poll by Baby Center of 1,219 women approximately 10% considered changing their baby’s names. Call after call, even my very closest friends divulged their secrets of changing or wanting to change their babies names.

My friend Holly went a year calling her daughter “Paige” and she even filled in her entire baby book with the details about “Paige”. Holly always knew the name wasn’t right, but just kept thinking her daughter would grow into it – that one day it would feel right. Finally she just snapped one day and called her daughter Caroline and it fit her perfectly. It was worth the months of paper work and more than a few jokes from friends and family. Now, Caroline loves to read through her baby book and hear all about her alter ego Paige.

Another friend, Tracy, named her second son Peter after her father, who she adores. Her little guy could totally pull off a strong name like Peter. However, she did feel a little odd at certain times even hours after she named little Peter. For example when the nurse came in her hospital room and said, “It’s time to breast feed Peter” or “How is Peter’s circumcision healing?” This was a little creepy getting used to a baby named Peter and not her father. Could she change his name and take back the honor of naming her son after her father? The answer was no, so she had to find a name she could live with. For months Tracy would just call him “The Baby”. She had nightmares that at high school graduation they were going to call him Baby and then inevitably at some point in her dream, someone shouts out “No one puts Baby in a corner!” Let’s just say this pushed her over the edge and now they just call him Petey, which is far better than Baby for sure!

With what I’ve learned, here are some of the tips for double checking to be sure your baby’s name was the right one. This seemed funny at first, but they actually really helped. One friend told me to say the baby’s name out loud over and over, but to pretend it was the day of their college graduation. So, when no one was around I would speak in my strong professional voice an announce “Smith Jacquelyn McLeod”. I even tried the serious voice the guy does when he announces the President entering the room. I must say, I was quite impressed with how well I did with that one! Possible second career. My friend Ashley gave me the final test to see if her name was the “right” one. She told me to picture the name on a wedding invitation. I thought she was crazy, but it did help.

There was a huge pink stork in my front lawn emblazoned with my daughters name on it; the wrong name. The monogrammed bibs and onesies were already piling up and yet I still could not even utter her name. Her name felt so wrong. When I was alone with her, I would tickle her little arms and legs and try out names hoping that she would give me a sign if she liked the name. I actually knew the name I wanted and it fit her perfectly, I knew it in my heart. I just needed to sit the family down and tell them. I swear the baby even giggled and possibly even gave me a high five when I called her by the new name – she was totally on board with the idea. It was time to stop sneaking around and tell my husband. So I sat down and held up our cute little girl at eye level to him and told him that her name was not Smith. Her name is Bergan. To this, do you know what he said…”Do I have to get a new stork?”